Funny Instagram Captions

We’re all looking for an extra laugh during the day. So why not start out with funny Instagram captions to help get you going. We’ve collected 70 funny Instagram captions for your laughing pleasure.



Funny Instagram Captions

I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for answers

1. I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for answers

You’re the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo

2. You’re the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo

3. I like hashtags because they look like waffles

4. If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will

5. I need a room full of mirrors so I can be surrounded by winners



6. I’d slap you but that would be animal abuse

7. Don’t stand too close to the haters. Plastic melts

Drink some coffee and pretend you know what you’re doing

8. Drink some coffee and pretend you know what you’re doing

My middle finger salutes you

10. My middle finger salutes you

11. Tell me what’s harder than writing an Instagram caption… I’ll wait

If you’re affected by my post, then it means your guilty of something

12. If you’re affected by my post, then it means your guilty of something

Just dropped my new single. It’s me I’m single

13. Just dropped my new single. It’s me I’m single



14. I’d take a Nerf bullet for you

15. So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out

16. People are like Oreos. The good stuff is on the inside

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe and eat cake

17. The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe and eat cake

Anyone else try to fall back asleep in the morning just to finish a dream

18. Anyone else try to fall back asleep in the morning just to finish a dream

19. Humble, with just a hint of Kanye



20. An apple a day keeps anyone away if I aim correctly

21. One day… I’m gonna make onions cry

22. Ice cream is cheaper than therapy

23. That awkward moment when you’re wearing Nike’s and you can’t do it

24. I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled with my thumb

25. I want to be the reason you look down at your phone, and then walk into a pole

26. I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download snacks

27. Nope, I checked my receipt and I did;t buy any of your crap



28. I am currently experiencing life at the speed of 15 WTF’s an hour

29. Drink some coffee and pretend you know what you’re doing

30. My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunch and a crunch… I call it lunch

31. By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you blocked and deleted. You may now kiss my ass

32. reality called so I hung up

33. My daily to-do list: Wake up, survive, sleep

34. I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for awhile, and then wake up beautiful



35. Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is hard

36. You call it chaos, we call it family

37. Emotionally stable as an Ikea table

38. It’s champagne o’clock

39. Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally victimized by the wind

40. You look like something I drew with my left hand

41. I used to care but I take a pill for that now

42. Lets make a deal. You can judge me when your perfect



43. I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge

44. I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship

45. There are 16 year olds competing at the olympics and here I am still pushing on pull doors

46. A pizza is basically a real-time pie chart of how much pizza is left

47. I know i’m a handful but that’s why Dog gave you two hands

48. Cupcakes are muffins that belief in miracles

49. I have two moods: Sleep is for the weak, and sleeping for a week

50. I just don’t want to look back and think “I could’ve eaten that”

51. The ocean made me salty



52. On Saturdays we wear pajamas

53. Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too

54. Not shy. I just don’t like you

55. If I was a fruit, I would be a fineapple

56. Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes that reason is stupid and you make bad decisions

57. Soul on fleek

58. I’m part of the Anti-Social Social club

59. Nobody really likes us except for us

60. I’ve found puddles deeper than you



61. You’re the Snoop Dogg to my Martha Stewart

62. It’s just so hard to care when you’re this relaxed

63. Everyone was thinking it, I just said it

64. I came, I saw, I made it awkward

65. Santa saw your Instagram profile and you’re getting clothes and a bible for christmas

66. Pretty good at bad decisions

67. I hope one day you choke on the shit you talk

68. Tell me not to do something and I will do it twice, and take a picture

69. I’m not going outside until the temperature is above my age

70. I miss you like an idiot misses the point



2019-05-12T16:09:19+00:00