Funny Captions for Instagram

Funny captions are a great way to make the day a little brighter. Everyone needs a little laughter in their lives, so we found some great funny Instagram captions for your profile. Check them out and be sure to share with your friends.



Funny Instagram captions

I think my guardian angel is drunk more than me

I think my guardian angel is drunk more than me

They say good things take time… That’s why I’m always late

They say good things take time… That’s why I’m always late

I’m a Victoria’s Secret model. It’s such a secret, not even Victoria knows about it

Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot

Me, jealous of you? Bless your heart

It takes skills to trip over flat surfaces

Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business



You’re going to be fine. You come from a long line of lunatics

You’re brain is impressive. It works 24/7 until you fall in love

If you’re lucky enough to find a weirdo, never let them go

They just keep getting better

Why I say I won’t tell anyone, my mom doesn’t count

You are either on my side, by my side, or in my way. Choose wisely

If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Story of my life

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forget to do

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else



Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else

I’ve got a good heart, but this mouth is…

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes

Never argue with stupid people. They will bring you to their level and beat you with experience

I hate when I think I’m buying organic vegetables and I got home to find they are just regular donuts

We just keep getting creative

If I won an award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me



I use to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure

If someone calls you ugly, say excuse me, I am not a mirror

Marry someone who loves a different cereal that you. Less morning fights

I’m trying to see things from your point of view, but I can’t stick my head that far up my butt

My goal this weekend is to move just enough so people don’t think I’m dead

I want around like everything is fine, but deep down my sock is sliding off

Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps breaking us up

Zombies eat brains. Trust me your safe

May the forces of evil get confused on the way to your house

You need these captions in your life

Do not read this whole caption… You rebel, I like you

Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said



You’re only as good as your last hair cut

I changed my password to “incorrect”, that way it will remind me “your password is Incorrect”

I came, I saw, and I forgot what I was doing

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you will be pretty on the inside as well

I’m a leader not a follower. Unless we are in a dark place, then screw it you’re going first

Be careful when you follow the Masses. Sometimes the “M” is silent



Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being me

Don’t give up your dreams. Keep sleeping

Gettin savage on Instagram

If you can’t convince them, confuse them

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito

87% of young people have back pain. The other 13% have no computer

I just realized that when someone in their 20’s talks about old people, they are talking about us

Brains are awesome. I wish everyone had one

I don’t have a bucket list, but my Fucket list is a mile long

Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak english



If a woman could read minds, every second man would be slapped

You smell like drama and a headache. Please get away from me

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar

Need a few more

In America, anyone can be president and that’s the problem

If lying was a job, I know some people who would be billionaires

I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy saving mode

I’m not weird, I’m limited edition

Dear math, please grow up and solve your own problems. I’m tired of doing it for you

I can’t take this long distance relationship anymore. Fridge you are coming to my room

You couldn’t handle me, even if I came with instructions



A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults

After Tuesday, even the calendar goes W T F

In order for you to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Nice try though

2019-05-10T18:10:25+00:00